Depression Can Really Get You Down

Some therapists are asking patients to ask themselves 'how' they are experiencing depression instead of 'why'. This is so simple a technique, like so many things in life, but it is important. For instance, you meant to do something productive, or important today, and instead watched television. Your family comes home and says not "why didn't you do it?' but 'how do you feel about not accomplishing it?'

What a difference in how you may start looking at things! Asking 'why' after all, is a rather close-ended question, because if you don't know 'why' you can't answer it. It can sound accusatory, also, not a good 'tude to take when you are feeling down. Nor is it a good attitude for someone else to take either, toward someone's depression.

Instead, I read an article by a therapist in Ode magazine who says that when you become gripped in the whirlpool of dark, negative thoughts, and the emotions that accompany them, do this: sit on the edge of a chair with your hands on your thighs, back straight, comfortable. Take an anthropological approach to the sensations that your physical body is experiencing. Try to find an image or words that describe the feeling, observe it, and watch it fade. Watch for the next thought and don't judge it as 'good' or 'bad'. One dark thought frequently leads to another, and if you notice that you have been drawn into a negative chain of thought, concentrate on your breathing. Then notice if there is a new flow of thoughts that follow. Don't worry about why you are thinking the things you are thinking, but rather how you are feeling and being while the thoughts cross in and out of your mind.

It reminds me of codependency and how people who have lived, or are living with addicts cope. Stand back and observe a situation, or confrontation without investing any emotion into it. It doesn't mean you don't care, or you don't love the person involved. It simply means you refuse to engage with them on the emotional battlefield on which they are trying to battle.

It is also similar to meditating. You are emptying your mind of emotions connected to the thoughts and simply observing yourself having thoughts. Put that way, depression is no big deal, just a pesky neighbor on your doorstep for a short chat.

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Please visit Shayne and Lorit's site for more insight into depression and anxiety